Hope Springs (part I)

Today (3/4/10), and the next three days are dedicated to the work of Hope Springs Institute.  Several months ago, I was asked if I might be interested in serving on their board of directors.  After doing a little research on what they were about, I decided I had an interest and decided to apply.  After submitting my resume and a bio, a vote was taken, and I am now an official board member of Hope Springs.

The thing that most drew me to this place that I had never visited was its mission.  The mission is
“To Provide Sacred Space for Feminist Education, Responsible Green Living and Transformational Work
In the Service of Healthy Relationship with Planet Earth, Global Peace, Social Justice and Equality, and Personal Development”

The mission seemed to speak to a part of me that has gone from a quiet whisper to a more gradual, louder whisper.  I’m drawn to the idea of feminist education.  I’m drawn to the idea of social justice and equality.  I’m drawn to the idea of personal development.  I am even starting to hear the whispers of working on responsible green living.  On the car ride here, we were discussing our signs and I was talking about (the joys of) being a Gemini.  I’ve found that here lately, I am really struggling with my twin (yes, twins, not triplets, or any other higher multiple!) personalities in terms of figuring out my career path.  For the most part, I’ve always worked with students, and in or around education.  Here lately, there has been a yearning for more work in the area of diversity, social justice, LGBTQ issues, etc.  I’ve toyed and am still toying with the idea of going back to school.  The issue (money & time) has really been, go back to school and study what?  Of course part of me wants to continue my studies in education, but another part of me (a part I feel like may be growing) wants to study diversity and social justice issues.  I think MUSE (choir I sing in) helped to spark that fire, and I think Hope Springs will continue to fan the fire. 

I am so excited about the work that is going to come with my commitment to Hope Springs.  Tonight we were sitting around a fire watching it slowly burn.  Afterwards, people were free to share what was on their heart.   I kept thinking that as excited as I am about my work with this place, I do have some apprehension.  I am going to soak up all of this wonderful work in this space, but what happens when I return back home?  At first I thought, this is just what I need to help nurture my other twin, but now I think that what this will force me to do is really take a harder look my career, my career path and whether or not, this is really where I want to be.  I must admit I’m scared to have to take a long hard look in the mirror and figure out what I see, and what I’d like to see because I don’t think they will match.  I know that the work I do is good and needed, but I don’t think it’s fulfilling for me.  I guess before it has sounded selfish to verbalize that, but I’m beginning to see that it’s not selfish.  It’s where I am and it’s something I have to work through.