A much needed work venting!

(This was written at work on 3/11/10)

So I’m at work and I’m supposed to be working on an article about one of my students that needs to be submitted (tomorrow) for our state’s student journal.  About 20 minutes ago, I completed the article (or so I thought), printed it and asked my Administrative Assistant to read over it.  She reads it, comes into my office and tells me she thinks it’s a good article if it were for a publication, but she was under the impression it was for Washington D.C. legislators (we are a federally funded grant program) and therefore it needs more.  She goes on to say that as a Director, I should be able to articulate the impact & importance of a program like ours on our students.

I’m trying to take into account that I am feeling very blah today, but as you can probably guess, I have A LOT of issues with this conversation.  First, this is not the first time I have felt like she is talking down to me.  Her issue (my opinion) is we have 3 staff members; me, her, and one guy.  The guy and I are both younger than her (by at least 20 years), and we have more academic schooling than her (I have a Master’s, he’ll be done with his Master’s in June and I think she’s maybe taken a few college courses).  While this is not an issue for me or the guy, it’s clearly an issue for her.  I think, in her past, someone (or some ones) more educated than her has made her feel less than so she has internalized it by thinking that people more educated than her, think they’re better than her.  So, when she talks to me her tone can be condescending and sometimes say “educated folks think you’re smarter than me, but you’re not.  You really know nothing.”  She enjoys pointing out when “as a Director”; I should do something, should already know something or should have done something different.

My next issue is that I have been in this position for 7 months.  While I understand I can’t use “I’m new” forever, it does apply in this scenario.  I have interacted with the student I’m writing the article about maybe 3-4 times.  While I can certainly tell he’s dedicated to the Program, to say that I know him well would be a far stretch of the imagination.  So, in order to prepare for the article, I emailed the questions to him and asked my co-worker for some descriptive language about him and his connection with the Program.  The only thing she added was the name of another group he’s in, the big positive influence the previous director had on him, and she told me I should call the mom of another student I also wanted to write about so I can see how the Program impacts a low-income single parent.  Now, while I’m sure this other mom will have lots of good information to add, unless I hear back from her daughter, it won’t matter because I can’t do the article.  And if my co-worker thinks it’s so critical to include this parental perspective, then why didn’t she give me hers?!  She to fits into the same category as the parent she suggested and she has one student in the Program and another one that just graduated last year!  So, she gives all this wonderful advice to me, but doesn’t give me the descriptive words for the student or how he’s been impacted, which is what I asked her for, and which is what would have made the article more impactful, the way she thought it should be.

Not sure how much more of this I can take!  To be honest, most days at work, I’m bored.  The other issue is, there are sooo many little things I probably should know, but don’t and she makes the situation hell.  I can’t refer to the old Director anymore because I am 99.9% sure my co-worker is telling her how incompetent I am and I don’t need to be a part of that.  I want out!  I know this is not for me.  I am (trying) to be patient and do the best I can do until my true calling comes along!